Confronting Misogyny: from the Montreal Massacre to the Nova Scotia Shooting.

Presented at Mount Saint Vincent University during their International Day of Remembrance and Action Ceremony.

I would like to begin by acknowledging that I can’t be with you in Nova Scotia today because of the tightening of the Atlantic bubble, so I respectfully acknowledge that the land from which I am speaking is the ancestral homelands of the Beothuk, whose culture has now been erased forever. I acknowledge the island Newfoundland as the unceded, traditional territory of the Beothuk and the Mi’kmaq  and Labrador as the traditional and ancestral homelands of the Innu and the Inuit.

I am fiercely grateful to the Alexa McDonough Institute for their invaluable work on gender and justice and specifically to the steering committee, who asked me to share space with you on this painful and necessary day of remembrance.

We are coming together in this new space – online – where we can be together in safety. And yet it is very hard, to remember and mourn, to organize when we are not together … with all of our senses, in solidarity and in community. 

Today we will explore painful ideas, realities and tragedy, and I acknowledge that the Nova Scotia shooting in April of this year is all too raw, that the survivors of this tragedy are  trying to heal, still fighting for answers and justice. Throughout this day, I am holding space for them, and I ask that you do too.

Why are we talking about confronting misogyny today? 

Because it is a common trait among most mass murderers, because it is the reason why violence against women flourishes unchecked in our country and globally, and because we, as a progressive society, have not acknowledged nor had our reckoning with it.

And, because, I believe to end violence against women – and in fact all gender-based violence – we must interrogate why this critically important word – this one-word analysis – has become both ubiquitous and, at times, meaningless.

Over many years we have come to conflate sexism with misogyny, but they have two very distinct functions that work to uphold each other. Sexism is an ideology, an ideology that says, “These social norms are how it should be. Women are just more caring, or nurturing, they are weaker and more empathetic. This is the natural order of things.” Sexism is the belief system that supports and holds up patriarchal values and systems. It is why the pay gap exists, why gender roles are still so rigid, why we don’t surpass 30% of women in office, and why women continue to do the vast majority of unpaid work. 

The standard definition of misogyny is the hatred of women. However, Philosopher Kate Manne argues our standardized definition must be more nuanced – because, for too long it has been understood as something men feel – a burning hatred in their hearts – and not something that women experience, which is a fatal mistake.

She conceptualizes misogyny as the law enforcement arm of sexism – which engages and enforces – when there’s a threat to our patriarchal system. 

If we continue to think of misogyny as a thing that a few bad men feel, instead of the law that polices and punishes women who transgress or threaten dominant men, then we ourselves become complicit in violence against women. 

We must understand misogyny as upheld by systems – the system of white supremacy, of patriarchy, that it is codified into our laws, property, and the institutions of policing, the military, religion and yes, academia. We see this in the removal of poor and racialized women’s children, the surveillance and criminalization of sex workers, and the abhorrently low conviction rates in both domestic violence and rape cases.

This refusal to name misogyny was evident in the aftermath of the Montreal Massacre on that fateful night on December 6th 1989, where 14 women were murdered. The shooter actively separated the men from the women, and shouted “I hate feminists” – and yet it was over two decades before his actions were ever accepted and understood as femicide, the killing of women, because they were women. 

In confronting misogyny and the systems that enforce it, we must always have an intersectional lens, as Kimberly Crenshaw has named and guided us to do. At its root, misogyny is about keeping women subordinate to men through violence or the threat of violence. Its function – to persistently and actively view women as inferior – is hardest felt by women who experience intersections of race, poverty, ability, and stigma. The more intersections we experience, the more inferior and therefore more disposable we are considered – an atrocious reality we see in the treatment of Indigenous women, drug using women, trans women, criminalized and migrant women.

This was unmistakeable in the public dialogue on the murder of over 50 Indigenous women in the downtown east side of Vancouver – many of whom were street level sex workers and drug using – that virtually went unnoticed, or purposefully ignored, by police for years. History books and the media continue to refer to the murderer, Robert Pickton, as Canada’s worst serial killer, as though he is a curiosity to be studied, and not as a racist, misogynist white man, who intentionally targeted vulnerable Indigenous women because he knew no one would notice.

The men who commit mass shootings are portrayed in the mainstream media as lone wolves, acting on their own, or as mentally ill. These dominant narratives hide an uncomfortable truth – that the common igniter for these men is a deep-seated hatred of women, a hatred that finds both fuel and oxygen in our wider culture.  

These lone wolf, mental illness and “evil” narratives offer us a disquieting comfort because they allow us to focus on the “other”, the character and plot lines of the villain, and then we are able to conveniently accept it as beyond our control, rather than a by-product of a patriarchal and misogynist culture, in which we are all contributors.  

In fact, mass murderers sit squarely on the continuum of violence against women – from rape jokes, coercive behaviour, to domestic violence and rape…. There are always clear predictors and this violence is always preventable. 

We know the majority of mass murderers are white straight men, their common trait – a deep and potent hatred of women. We also know they share a pattern of beliefs, which justify their actions, which begin to unfold in the aftermath of almost every mass killing:

Misogyny,

A sense of entitlement, 

An obsession with power, or symbols of power, and

A history of violence against women. 

Year after year, tragedy after tragedy we have refused to name it, refused to name misogyny as the direct cause, even when the perpetrators themselves tell us their intentions. The Toronto van attacker told police he drove his van straight into a crowded street of people as retribution against society because women would not have sex with him. Mark Lepine shouted that he hated feminists and left a long list of women he was planning to kill next.

If we cannot name misogyny and confront it, we will never effectively address it, and therefore never eradicate it. 

This refusal to accept misogyny as the root cause of mass shootings was on full display after the tragic events, over 13 hours, in April of this year. As an activist for many decades, I was outraged when the RCMP reported that the Nova Scotia shooter’s girlfriend was “the catalyst for the mass shooting” and I watched as media outlets repeated this statement – as if it were a known truth – unquestioned for the days and weeks to come. This misogynist language serves two purposes: 1) to blame (and punish) women for the violence they experience, and the violence others close to them experienced because of it, and, 2) to allow systems of misogyny, like the RCMP, to deflect their own complicitness.

She was in no way the catalyst for this horrific tragedy. We all now know what activists like myself and others predicted – that the mass shooting was the culmination of years of unchecked male entitlement, violence against women and others that was not taken seriously, an obsession with power, violent misogyny, which unsurprisingly grew more virulent and violent overtime, because it was unchecked, and devastatingly, a predictable pattern of events unfolded.

Our inaction in naming and addressing misogyny has also meant there is little change in the levels of violence women experience.

In the 40 years since violence against women became part of our cultural dialogue,  there has been 40 years of research, scholarship, the opening of shelters and women’s centres, women and gender studies programs, a proliferation of women’s lived experiences has been documented, there have been changes to our laws, and billions of dollars infused to create programs and interventions to end violence against women.

Yet sadly, there has been no real change in the levels of violence women experience. 

I am a panelist with the Canadian Femicide Observatory for Justice and Accountability, which monitors VAW and state and social responses to it. The observatory generates a femicide report each year and a woman or girl is killed on average every 2.5 days in Canada, approximately 130 women and girls each year. Last year that number was 136.

We continue to clutch on to the dominate narrative that Canada is a peaceful, non-violent and non-racist country – against all evidence to the contrary. 

Across this vast landscape that is now Canada, we have much to celebrate when we see examples of kindness, connection and innovation, but we must confront the false version of Canada, and rural Canada, as a place that is only and always friendly, pastoral and safe. The hard truth is that femicide is all too common in rural areas – 34% of femicides last year were in rural areas, which is alarming given that only 16% of the population live in rural areas. 

These dominant narratives most often perpetuated by white Canadians are powerful and we cling to them as part of our own individual and national identity and sense of safety. But, in doing so, we diminish and ignore the misogyny and racism throughout our nation, a nation forged by genocide, and we move on to more convenient rationales from victim blaming to “lone wolf” explanations – rationales that require no work, no changes on our collective behalf beyond remembering. We see it as simply beyond our control.

As a culture we also believe that VAW is a “women’s issue”, that it is something that happens to women who behave badly, and that it generally happens within what we view as the private sphere. 

When we insist on seeing this as only a “women’s issue” we ignore the horrendous and intergenerational impact of this violence across all of our communities – on families, neighbours, our activism and advocacy work. When it is only a “women’s issue” we often can’t see the societal impact on those who suffer for generations in the aftermath including:

*A survivor of the Montreal Massacre, Natalie Provost refers to Dec 6th as “the night he killed us all.”  

*Fellow students of that tragedy who died by suicide and many who experienced adverse mental health and addictions and continue to today.

*Families of the murdered and missing Indigenous women of Vancouver’s downtown east side and beyond are still searching for and grieving for generations of lost daughters, sisters and mothers, without justice or reprieve.

*The 136 women who were murdered in Canada last year, left 118 children without a mother.

*Waves and ripples of grief after the mass shooting in Nova Scotia this year continue to sit with families, and we will not know the full impact for years to come.

Violent misogyny does NOT just target women, even though the hatred of women is the root cause. We’ve seen this in the Toronto van attack, in the devastating NS Shooting, in the many incidences where the perpetrator kills his entire family, and neighbours, new partners and complete strangers.  When we realize this, we can begin to really see it as a societal problem with a cost we can no longer bear.

Today is a day of reflection and remembrance of the 14 women who were murdered 30 years ago.

I believe universities and colleges across this country owe a unique debt to the women who were murdered that dark day in our history and to the entire generation of great feminist academics, researchers and activists who were quite simply too afraid to speak out in the aftermath of the massacre. And because of their forced silence, we lost the culmination of their work and all the advancement in the lives of women, and in our society that would have – and should have – come from their work.

We simply can no longer accept the rampant misogyny that has run unchecked in our universities and colleges for years.

We must be outraged that the red zone exists: the first 6 weeks of a young women’s university career where she can expect her chances of being sexual assaulted to increase exponentially.

We must fight university policies that muzzle women who are victims of violence at university from speaking publicly, or to the media, and insist she navigate university processes, instead of the supports she chooses and which make her feel safe.

It is unacceptable that women professors are payed less, published less and sit on more unpaid committees, and that gender studies programs are always under threat and poorly resourced.

Instead, together we must fight to ensure that all universities fiercely protect and nurture feminist thought, research and activism, and to actively ensure the halls of academia are safe for all women to walk and work in.

We must advocate for a massive rethinking of our education system, complete reform of our curriculums from daycare to university where we teach healthy relationships, boundaries, conflict resolution, non-violence, and where comprehensive and positive sex education is the norm. Where our youngest are armed with the tools to fight discrimination, inequality, violence – tools they will go on to use to transform our communities, and institutions from the school room to the dinner table and beyond. 

SO, yes, – there is much work to do. And, at times we can feel hopeless. But this solemn anniversary is our reminder that we cannot lose hope. That yes, we must grieve, but then we must act. 

Fighting violence against women is fighting for a better world, a word without the inequalities’ and violence misogyny forges, that fights against the lack of childcare, housing, pay equity, access to women-centred healthcare, reproductive rights, education and a fair justice system – the very barriers that prevent women from leaving violence. 

We can however no longer leave this work on the backs of underfunded and under-resourced women’s organizations. Ending violence against women is not solely the job of women. We can no longer separate the women from the men. We must do this work together, with courage and resistance.

Each year on December 6th,  in honour of the 14 beautiful women who were taken from us, I share 14 ways we can all fight every day to end male violence against women:

1. Let us work together to breakdown the institutions that create and foster gender inequality, wherever we see it.
2. Let us demand our government uphold the enshrined human rights of women in their entirety.
3. Let us support women-serving organizations who do the bulk of violence prevention work and do it well.
4. Let us never forget that violence against women is preventable. It is a learned behaviour and it can be unlearned.
5. Let us centre our work in decolonization and anti-racism.
6. Let us believe women.
7. Let us honour and foster feminism.
8. Let us invest in school-based violence prevention programs, where girls and boys learn how to stop the violence – for good.
9. Let us recognize violence against all women – including Black women, trans women, senior and Indigenous women, sex workers, disabled, young and women new to our county.
10. Let us collaborate, and let us disagree in safety.
11. Let us hold each other accountable.
12. Let us continue to fight for a fairer justice system.
13. Let us challenge harmful representations of women in media.
14. And, finally let us honour women’s history, including this day – December 6th.

December 6th, we just can’t lose hope now.

Keynote speech given by Jenny Wright, Executive Director of the St. John’s Status of Women Council, at the Memorial University National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women vigil on December 6, 2015.

On December 6th, 1989 this country saw the brutal murders of 14 women, simply because they were women. More poignantly, because they were thought to be feminists.

We are here today so that we never forget that on that day, a gunman went on a shooting rampage at the École Polytechnique engineering school in Montreal, Quebec. He killed 14 people and injured 14 others before taking his own life. His suicide note blamed women and feminism, for ruining his life. He separated men from women before opening fire and killing 14 people. They were all women.

It was a horrific mass murder not seen before in this country. And, I remember that day, all too well. December 6th not only tragically took the lives of 14 young women, it went on to silence a generation of feminists. An entire generation of great feminist academics, researchers and activists were quite simply too afraid to speak out in the aftermath of the massacre. And because of their forced silence, we lost the culmination of their work and all the advancement in the lives of women, and in our society that would have – and should have come from their work.

We were devastated as a nation – and in the months that followed, what rose from the ashes was a collective realization that violence against women was not only real but a horrific issue in our country, in our institutions, and our communities. We created a National Day of Remembrance and Action and we all pledged to make change.

And yet, women continue to die.

In fact, every six days a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner.

Why?

We honoured, but we did not act collectively to destroy the root causes of violence agaisnt women: gender inequality rooted firmly in misogyny.

Because of this, univeristies across this country owe a unique debt to the women who where murdered that dark day in our history. We simply can no longer accept the rampant and destructive misogyny that has run unchecked in our universities for years – from UBC, to UofT, to DAL, and yes MUN. Instead, together we must fight to ensure that all universities fiercely protect and nurture feminist thought, research and activism, and to actively ensure the halls of academia are safe for all women to walk in.

I remember the fear after December 6th. I remember being numb for days. I remember the profound sadness, then I remember the anger.

I was at the University of Toronto protest after the massacre. I remember marching with thousands of men and women, I remember singing, and our collective grief and the outpouring of support for the women’s families. I also remember when we looked up at the engineering department, they had hung out a banner – just briefly, long enough for us to see it – that said, “Marc Lepine was right”.

So yes, we must continue to honour. But we must act. We cannot sit idely by and wait for another massacre. We must recognize that violence against women takes many forms – it is not just dead women in university classrooms, it is not simply the bruised face of your neighbour in the newspaper, and it is not just something that happens in other countries. It is based in misogyny, it is gender inequality, it is our refuseal to uphold the enshrined human rights of women, and it is the chronic underfunding and active silencing of women-serving organizations.

We must understand and redress that the lack of childcare, housing, pay equity, access to women-centred healthcare, reproductive rights, education and a fair justice system are not only a primary cause of violence against women, they are the very barriers which prevent women from leaving violence. 

To end violence is to first believe women when they tell you they are fighting a silent war in their homes, their streets, at work, and yes in their schools. It is everywhere and we must open our eyes and see it. Once you have seen it, it cannot be unseen. And, in that moment the work becomes to fight for an equal, fairer and safer society. Together.

For the 14 beautiful women who were taken from us, here are 14 ways we can fight everyday to end violence against women:

1. Let us work together to breakdown the institutions that create and foster gender inequality, wherever we see it.
2. Let us demand our government uphold the enshrined human rights of women in their entirety.
3. Let us support women-serving organizations who do the bulk of violence prevention work and do it well.
4. Let us never forget that violence against women is preventable. It is a learned behaviour and it can be unlearned.
5. Let us not slut shame or victim blame.
6. Let us believe women.
7. Let us honour and foster feminism.
8. Let us invest in school-based violence prevention programs, where girls and boys learn how to stop the violence – for good.
9. Let us recognize violence against all women – including trans* women, senior and Indigenous women, sex workers, disabled, young and women new to our county.
10. Let us collaborate, and let us disagree in safety.
11. Let us hold each other accountable.
12. Let us continue to fight for a fairer justice system.
13. Let us challenge harmful representations of women in media.
14. And, finally let us honour women’s history, including this day – December 6th.

We can no longer leave this work on the backs of underfunded and under-resourced women’s organizations. Ending violence against women is not solely the job of women. In this important and sacred work, we can no longer separate the women from the men. We must do this work together, in compassion and in love, in the desire to seek understanding, in honouring experiences that may be different than your own – with courage and resistance.

In search of the elusive lessons of 2018

Reading a cacophony of year end wrap-ups and new years’ resolutions I wanted to share mine because I felt, well, I have had a year. But each time I sat down to write the words eluded me. I felt a strong responsibility to say something inspirational and profound. Something that would mark an end of a horrible year and begin a new year with shiny new wisdom.

I know I was supposed to feel grateful and be grateful, because almost everyone told me I should be. But the truth is I didn’t feel grateful for a significant part of this year, I felt angry, cheated, depressed and afraid – all the time. I was in pain, vulnerable and pulled out of my life in a nanosecond and confined to a chair in my living room for four months. The more people told me how grateful I should be the more utterly depressed I felt.

Instead, I had a year where I literally felt every possible human emotion – where it felt like I cried my body weight in tears. The hardest to articulate is that I often felt opposing emotions simultaneously, deep love and debilitating fear. I would move from terror to broken, panic, from rage to humiliation and love then resignation, and then, I would feel it all over again on an unrelenting loop.

Trauma has many insidious symptoms but the worst of its’ symptoms robs you of hope – your ability to see the possibilities of good things ever happening again. One year ago, I was driving to work in the New Year full of ideas, plans, hopes and a brand-new day planner ready to take on the challenges of work and community. I never made it. Instead my every fear played out in a blur of broken bones, pain meds and cloudy memories with surgery, pain, hospitals, physio, and trying to keep your mental health intact when your family had to feed, dress and bathe you.

I still have trouble looking forward with fresh hope and optimism. The accident took something from me that I am still trying to name and then force back into place. Perhaps this is the reason I couldn’t write my wrap-up, because I am looking for the lessons and finding dull platitudes. Gratitude can be elusive.

A year later I still have pain, I am still healing, I still rarely sleep and I am still trying day by day to come to terms with my new limitations. I live in constant dread that my surgeon will tell me I need more surgery – more hospitals, more healing & pain, more time sidelined from my life. It hangs over me. I dream about it and it drains me of courage. I miss my body before the accident. I miss my strength, both physical and mental.

This past year each time I worked so very hard to get up – literally and figuratively – something took my legs out from underneath me. As the universe would have it, the accident wasn’t the only thing I had to endure. You can stumble so many times before you need to take a knee, to stay down.

My year didn’t end well. The joy and health and readiness to take on the world which I dreamed of feeling at the one-year mark didn’t come. My community work, and I, came under fire. I am long used to privileged white men coming at me, it comes with my feminist badge, but this was so very different.

Community activism comes at such a cost, because the political is personal, we live and breathe our battles, and there is little room left in our spirit to cope with community cannibalism in a world where solidarity or at the very least a mutual and respectful distance is necessary for our survival. I lost people in my circle that I loved, and part of me lost hope in activism with them. It seemed my only reflection for the year would be of profound loss on so many levels.

My work life and activism are fairly public but I try to keep a part of my personal life private, mostly for self care and to protect the people in my life from the backlash that I have learned to live alongside with. This year, those two worlds crashed together, and I am still trying to understand what that means. Advocacy teaches you very fast to build and wear your armour and to polish it daily, because it is sadly a necessary survival mechanism.

What I do know is that every time this year that I worked to get myself up, my family was there. My partner fed me with patience and humour, slept in the living room with me for a month, took three months off work to nurse my wounds and my often very tenuous mental health. My children stayed with us, figured out the nightmare of health insurance, helped me walk again, cheered me on through endless and painful physio and stayed with me through so many appointments I cannot count. They loved me unconditionally when I cried, laughed, and through every little bit of recovery. They stilled the pain and fear by creating beautiful moments of structure in my day: chocolate in the morning, tea together at night, tending to my scars, and – I can still remember – cheers when I was able to take a drink with a straw on my own for the first time.

The community outpouring of support after my accident was overwhelming, and it helped me in ways that words cannot capture.

My neighbours in my tiny rural cove also fed us, visited, and cheered me on as I slowly walked past their houses.

And, my daughter Shelby is still with us. It is right there that I find a deep profound gratitude. Something, I can’t really speak about.

As the year ended in sadness, there they were again – these pillars of support. Steadfast.

So, I am trying to turn the lack of hope for the future, that trauma stains you with, into something else. As cliché as it sounds, to work on living in the moment. To saying authentically and without fear what is on your mind, to tell the people around you love them, to feel and be in the moment, as best I can. To breathe and to find gratitude in the small things again. To always remember when the world went sideways for me, I was surrounded with people who loved me, and people who put their lives on hold to care for me and my daughter. Through all of this an unspoken, renewed and strengthened bond formed that connects us and shapes our lives now. The knowledge that someone always has your back,  is healing on a cellular level and changes how you see and move through the world.

The lesson perhaps is that this crazy beautiful life can be taken from you in a moment.
It really is a brutally short time that we are here. And, it truly matters who is there for you when the unthinkable happens.

Love is the only answer.

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